The Pancake Principle: Finding Wisdom in What We'd Rather Not See
Take a breath.
Right now, in this moment, what conversation are you avoiding? What decision keeps you up at 3 AM, cycling through endless "what-ifs"? Maybe it's that relationship that needs to be addressed, the career move you can't stop thinking about, or that uncomfortable truth you've been dancing around. What's your pancake, and what's on its other side that you're afraid to see?
In the raw silence of Arctic training, where each step becomes a mirror reflecting our deepest patterns, I've learned something that transcends both polar expeditions and personal transformation: no matter how thin the pancake is, it always has two sides.
Let's be clear – I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. The calendar shouldn't dictate when you decide to evolve. But as I prepare for my next White Whale journey to Svalbard – one stepping stone toward crossing Greenland in 2026 – I'm reminded that our most profound growth often happens in the spaces between extremes.
It's in those pivotal moments – heated arguments, competing priorities, life-altering decisions – where we're most tempted to oversimplify. To turn complex situations into "us versus them" or "right versus wrong." Think about that last intense workplace disagreement you had. In the heat of the moment, it's almost instinctive to entrench yourself in your position, to see only your side of the story. But what if the most powerful solution lies not in proving your point, but in understanding why someone else's perspective feels equally true to them?
Consider those career crossroads moments we all face. Maybe you're wrestling with leaving a stable job for an uncertain but potentially more fulfilling path. It's tempting to paint one choice as all risk and the other as all security. But real clarity comes when you dare to flip that pancake – when you acknowledge that staying put carries its own risks, and that leap into the unknown might offer unexpected stability.
In relationships, this principle becomes even more crucial. When tension rises and emotions run high, we often hear words without truly listening to their source. Remember, you can only hear what someone says – you can't automatically know the life experiences, fears, or hopes behind those words. The pancake principle isn't about agreeing with everyone; it's about having the courage to acknowledge that their perspective, however different from yours, has its own validity.
This applies just as powerfully to how we approach our wellbeing. With physical health, we often swing between extreme dedication and total abandonment. But what if both the voice urging you to push harder and the one asking you to rest carry important wisdom? What if sustainable transformation comes from honoring both?
The same goes for mental health. In our drive for success, we sometimes create false dichotomies: ambition versus peace of mind, achievement versus contentment. But your breakthrough might come from realizing these aren't opposing forces – they're complementary truths waiting to be balanced.
Here's what I've learned through countless coaching sessions: our most significant growth happens when we stop trying to simplify what's inherently complex. When we resist the urge to turn nuanced situations into binary choices. When we acknowledge that even in our strongest convictions, there might be value in the opposing view.
Marcus Aurelius advised choosing carefully what we have opinions about. But when something truly matters, when it's worth your mental bandwidth, the real growth begins by asking uncomfortable questions: What if both sides hold pieces of truth? What if complexity isn't the enemy of progress, but its very foundation?
Think of truth like holding a wet bar of soap. Squeeze too hard on your perspective, and the wisdom of the other side slips away. Hold too loosely to what you believe, and you'll drop both sides of the story. The art isn't in choosing between extremes – it's in finding that delicate balance where both sides of your pancake can coexist, even when they seem to contradict each other. What truth are you gripping too tightly? What perspective might you be afraid to hold at all?
Remember, the pancake always has two sides.
Your journey of growth begins when you dare to flip it over.